They don’t know how they were able to empathize with a suave pan sexual black guy.
There were a few guys from Indiana sitting by me who still can’t believe it. Yea, I know Lando said he loves Star Trek more than Star Wars for obvious reasons… but I don’t know. He took the time to get the accuracy of the younglings’ fur right. Though, I was amazed at how realistic his fur suit was. Let’s just say that Maul is a rose petal kind of guy. I’d go into more detail, but the scene is too sensual and carnal to be given away frivolously here. I mean, a guy and a fuzz ball stuck in a ship alone for, how long?Īnd Darth Maul seems like the kind of guy who’d be into that (The horns are a dead giveaway). We’ve come a long way in this galaxy far, far away…īut it’s not really surprising. The bedroom scene between Han and Darth Maul (dressed as Chewie), while awkward, was mostly accepted by the audience. Since then, like the war lords of Babylonian times, Chewbacca has been bathed in the fur of his victims. Suffice to say, Solo had more expletives than you’d expect. Known as the “Youngling Massacre of 2536,” it sent a ripple so great through the force that Mace Windu remembered he was Samuel L Jackson kidnapped from earth. Here, we find out how much fear he had in his heart. Most people don’t know that Chewie was meant to be a Jedi. If you came in repping the Chewbacca stan conglomerate, then this is the ugliest revelation from Solo.Īnakin wasn’t the only one who had a glow stick for the younglings. Chewbacca is covered in the fur of the younglings Half the theater was aghast when a UNICEF commercial popped up featuring Chewie’s children. Chewbacca is on a 200 year old trip to get milk from the store. Have you ever seen Chewie write a letter, send a postcard, write an email? No. Chewbacca is a deadbeat dadįor all of Chewie’s poetry, all artists are deadbeat dads in some respect. And don’t me tbat Captain Kirk, isn’t Lando’s spirit animal. Star Trek at least had a captain who was black. There are like three black guys in the Star Wars universe. Lando says, “Star Trek is better than Star Wars” Those words, inspired by Hoosiers, will live through the ages. Surely, these are the words Forrest Gump offered to that gathering at the Lincoln Memorial. So contemplative, our dirty muggle tongues have no translation for it. Children have been named after those words. When Jar Jar tries to give Han an intimate performance of his self-written song: “How Wuuude!” Han shoots him first, second, and last. That’s where Han discovers the fallen figure, as Jar Jar rambles about Goober fishes and Gunga City. He now performs in seedy bars under the stage name: Mesa Mesa. Long since retired, and without a General’s pension, which he gambled away, in Solo we find Jar-Jar at the lowest of the lows. Gone are the decadent days of Princess Amidala. In Solo: A Star Wars Story, Han shoots everyone. Who walks into a cantina, sits in a corner where he sees all the exits, not intending to shoot someone? Someone who shoots first, second, and last. Here ya go! 10 Spoilers from Solo: A Star Wars Story.ġ0. I wish I were stronger, but I needed to get a few of these out there so you guys can become acclimated to the new Star Wars universe that’s been created by Disney. Star War fans hate spoilers, but I couldn’t resist.
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